Dear Diary (An L Lawliet One Shot)
by xxBlindDollxx
Summary: S, while making her own name in the world, unexpectedly receives a message from the mysterious L. She fully well knows that Kira has a Death Note, like her, and she is determined to capture him from right under the arrogant L's nose, but once she spends time with the insomniac - her feelings get out of hand and shift toward helping him instead. Though what costs does she risk?


You threw yourself down at your desk, pulled out a blank, bounded book from out of your satchel, and began to contemplate. You had so many things on your mind you see, and decided that you wanted to convey everything in black and white.

_Dear Diary,_

_This is my first entry I have ever written, which might seem odd for my age, but the reason for this is because of my identity - I am a child of Wammy House. I guess I should explain what that means, huh? Being a resident at Wammy's means these things:_

_I am an orphan; my mother died while giving birth to me, and my father abandoned me a few years later._

_I must keep my true name a secret._

_I am to trust no one._

_Love is not an option in my life dedicated to the world._

_I used to be in the running to become the next L._

_L is the name the world's top detective was given when they rose to fame. This certain detective has solved thousands of cases all over the world and has been revered as the most brilliant person in the world – well at least by me anyway._

_The most interesting thing about this person, however, is how they operate. They have never shown their face, public or otherwise, and no one knows their true identity besides Quillish Wammy, founder of the previously stated Wammy House. The orphanage was built for one reason you see, and that was to find a replacement for L - if they ever fell from power for any reason. Children from all around the world still stay under this single roof, all aspiring to be this great mind._

_It's strange to think that I once had a chance to be this person, but I was quickly dismissed when boys by the names of Mello and Near entered the orphanage. I could never beat them for they were bright children you see-_

You were forced to stop writing when your computer suddenly flashed on. You glanced at the device, then slowly made your way over to it. On the screen was the inbox of your private email address, an address that you only gave to the current director of Wammy House, Roger. You had left the place when you had turned seventeen, deciding that it was time to live in the real world instead of that institution, and had hardly heard from the man since. He only gave updates of who had been assigned letters, you being S, and didn't say much else.

You stared at the unknown email address that had sent you a message, and decided it was only spam - which happened from time to time. As you clicked the little square box to mark it as such, your screen went blank and your eyes grew wider with worry. You began to type in code after code, trying to fend off any oncoming virus that might have been infecting your laptop, but it was all in vain; the screen continued to remain a daunting white. You hung your head in defeat and began to close the lid, while thinking of what new model you would buy, when a large L of Old English MT font appeared on the screen. Your hand paused, then lifted the top of the device once more. "I-It couldn't be – could it?!" you stammered out. You told yourself it must be though, because no person had the guts to pose as them. It was indeed L.

You took a seat by the now hacked computer and waited. Soon, a scattered voice filtered through the speakers, "I do not have much time, since I'm currently trying to fend off all of your anti-virus techniques, but I have a request." You were about to respond, but their voice interrupted you, "And don't even try to attempt to speak, I won't be able to hear you since you do not have the proper equipment." You began to feel very stupid then. They continued, "I am currently working on what is known as the Kira case, and would like your help. The people I am currently working with are unfamiliar, and are somewhat untrustworthy; I need someone who is both intelligent and has complete loyalty to me. I would like you as S, aka Support, to assist me. I will be sending tickets to you through the mail, and hope that you comply. However, if you feel that you are incapable of this task, for you are not as nearly as suited for this mission as some others," you became agitated as Mello and Near popped into your mind, "then I completely understand and ask that you send the tickets back. I will also make sure that any future cases that come your way will be nullified so that you do not feel pressured ever again. I will be waiting for you answer, until then, goodbye." The screen of your computer then blacked out.

You stood up from your chair, walked quietly over to an unoccupied wall – and kicked it with all of your strength. You were usually not one to let your emotions get the better of you, but, since you were alone, you yelled in fury, "YOU DAMN DETECTIVE! HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!" Although to the average person it might have seemed like he was genuinely worried for you, you could tell what he meant by those words.

"If you don't help me, you will no longer be a detective, or a letter."

You were sure it was a _him_ now; most girls who had been raised as a Wammy child didn't have the arrogance that many of the boys had. The girls were more reserved, or at least acted nice up front then backstabbed you later. Letter K came to mind, but you hadn't heard from her in years. This man, though you had always denied it, played dirty. He stole and hid from the world while he manipulated the others in it - like he was doing with you right now. You wouldn't let him for long though, this was a promise you made to yourself. You would catch Kira before L, right from under his nose you would steal his glory. But still, in the back of your mind, you knew you couldn't do it alone. The great detective had said he was working with untrustworthy others – but maybe they would be loyal to you.

You were disturbed from your thoughts when a figure appeared beside you, body slightly consumed by the wall. " "_", I'm back; it _was_ the bank teller who was in on the scam! You were right!" It moved into the center of the room, its body now fully visible. The creature wore a headdress, of dispersed feathers dulled with age, covering his eyeless face. When he spoke, his large, squared teeth shone and as he walked closer to you - his furred cape swayed from side to side. He held up his hooked arm towards you, while continuing to grin.

You sighed after remembering the case you were currently working on – and apparently had just solved. "Is that so, Zellogi? Good to hear. Did you enjoy yourself? After all, I know you are fond of studying human ways." You turned around to face the shinigami, a smirk gracing your face. He had come down from what is known as the shinigami realm, apparently having become very interested in the world you lived in when another shinigami, Ryuk, decided to have some fun down here as well. You were almost certain that the other shinigami possessed the one known to the world as Kira, and that the criminal was gifted a Death Note. You glanced over to your dresser, where you hid your own uncommon, red Death Note. It had no special properties above the regular black ones, it just was a different color. Zellogi had previously explained to you that before the note book form, Death Notes had been scrolls and that a red notebook was just an alteration that Zellogi had made when he changed its form.

The shinigami laughed at the remembrance of his little outing, and told you where the bank teller had kept all his evidence. Trusting the death god, you contacted Interpol, the French agency that had hired you, and relayed the information to them. Most humans never trusted the shinigami who had possessed them, but you knew he would never betray you. He was far too curious for his own good, and was always up for spying on those you were assigned to put behind bars. You often sent him on little ventures, both so you wouldn't be at risk and also because you were too lazy to set up any surveillance equipment. He had become quite handy, so you had no reason to ever doubt his skills – which meant you had never had to use the Death Note. You tried to stay as pure as possible in that aspect.

After sending all the information to Interpol, you faced the haggard looking male. "It seems you might be seeing Ryuk after all; L has invited me to join the Task Force."

"Oh? That hotheaded detective I've been hearing so much of on the television?"

"Precisely." The shinigami grinned and his tail began to twitch with anticipation. He was in.

*x~X~x*

As the taxi driver pulled up to the curb, you stared up at the magnificent hotel that L said he was currently residing in. The trip had been long to get to Japan, but you decided it would be worth it. Even if Zellogi had been trying to get you to snap at him during the plane ride, just so you could humiliate yourself. His curiosity was both a blessing and a curse – depending on the situation.

You took a step out of the car, grabbed hold of your luggage, and made your voyage into the hotel lobby. Once inside, you were blown away – by disgust. At first the building had been impressive, but now you could see it was a place where only the wealthy could reside. Even though you weren't ever hurting for money, in the slightest, you had always had a disgust towards the rich who never gave back.

You were about to step into the elevator, when you remembered that you had no idea what room the detective was in. You gave an exasperated sigh, then took a seat in one of the armchairs provided in the lobby. You hoped that someone would come to collect you soon – since L hadn't given you any way of contacting him prior to your arrival.

Several minutes passed before a figure finally made their way over to you, and you recognized the man as Quillish Wammy. He removed his bowler hat and as he spoke, his gray mustache tickled his cheeks. " "_", it is nice to see you again." You nodded, got up from your seat, and greeted the elder in return. As the elder gentleman lead you up the elevator and through the hallway, you couldn't help but remember the last time you had seen him; it must have been when you left the orphanage. No, maybe left wasn't the right word for it. Kicked out was more like it.

In retaliation to the way Wammy's had treated you, you had sabotaged several tests, had set off countless fires in the kitchen, and had drawn on every bedroom door with permanent marker. For the first few weeks you had gotten away with it, since no one could figure out who was the culprit, but your reign came to an end when Near ratted you out. Of course it had to be him, he was the one who had made your life miserable and unneeded. Mello was also in the running to be L, but he didn't have the same uncaring aura about it. You had been tossed away like a piece of trash – as if you were stinking up the joint.

You shook the thought out of your mind as you approached the door that L was said to be behind. The englishmen opened the door for you, and as you stepped inside, your disgust only grew. The walls had been painted a royal red color with gold floral patterns and matching gold curtains lined the windows of the room. Pots of intricate, fake flowers were strategically placed throughout the suite as well, and one young looking man was studying them curiously. Watari curiously eyed him.

"Matsuda-san?"

The black haired man spun around at the sound of his name so fast that it looked like he expected to be lectured for something. He began to scratch his head nervously and smiled brightly. "Oh, Watari! You're back!" You stared blankly at this new person, then turned to face Mr. Wammy again.

"Please tell me this isn't L," you begged. The other man seemed to be a bit taken aback by your words, as if offended, but you didn't care. This man already seemed like an idiot. However, before he could say anything, a voice from behind you spoke.

"No "_", that would be me - but please, call me Ryuzaki here."

You faced the man who had addressed you and were shocked by his appearance. His hair was raven feather black and it looked as if it hadn't been brushed in years, the bags under his eyes looked dark enough to be heavy eyeliner – making you wonder if the man ever slept. The most interesting thing was the way he carried himself though; his hands stayed firmly jabbed into his jean pockets and his shoulders extremely slumped so that he appeared at least a foot shorter than he really was. You wondered if all this meant something more than what it appeared.

Did he have messy hair because he never felt like he needed to look good for someone, when he had no one? Did the bags under his eyes form after watching the worst of tortures and murders, more than anyone could ever fathom? And most importantly, did he slouch because he carried the burden of the world on his shoulders? Although to most these might appear as just assumptions, you couldn't help but feel they were true. You knew then that he was indeed L.

Once you realized you were now gawking at the man, you nervously introduced yourself. Which was out of character for you. He immediately began cluing you in on how far they had gotten in the Kira Case, and also explained that a Second Kira had arose. You remembered hearing something about that earlier, but you had dismissed it because L was on the case – so you figured it was only a matter of time before he found out about the Death Notes. Though one thing had been worrying you before L had ever made contact: why was this taking him so long? You knew that blaming hundreds of deaths on a notebook was a little bizarre, but you figured that if anyone was to find out about them that he would.

The detective began introducing you to the other Task Force members, Aizawa, Mr. Yagami, Light Yagami, and Mr. Mogi, when you got your answer. In the corner of your eye, you could see Zellogi talking to someone. Although you saw no one there, you knew it must have been a shinigami – and you were willing to bet your entire career that it was Ryuk. That's why L couldn't solve the case. Someone in that very room was Kira, and the man couldn't bring him into custody (most likely because of the other members, you assumed). It definitely explained why the panda like man had said that he had untrustworthy teammates. He knew which one of them it was too, you knew he had to. You would ask him about it later.

Ryuzaki soon assigned you the easy task of compiling all of the murders within the last week, to start off with, and asked if you would stay behind after the others went home. You nodded thinking, "_Perfect!"_

***x~X~x***

As Matsuda finally made his way out the door, apologizing for alphabetizing files instead of by date, Ryuzaki sighed out of frustration with the day. Even though you had all done substantial work, no new information was recovered. He then took a seat, or rather squatted, on one of the armchairs and gestured for you to sit as well.

Once you had made yourself comfortable, his dark jet eyes studied you. You tried to act as if you didn't notice, but it was kind of hard not to since he was the only other person in the room. You had to admit, despite his worldly riches and arrogance, you rather liked this man. "Y'know, before I came here and met you, I assumed you were a man in his forties with gray hair." The man seemed confused by this, and tilted his head to the side so that his hair grazed his crisp white t shirt. He began to bite his fingernail as the other hand fluffed his hair a bit.

"Why gray hair and not simply graying?"

"From stress," you shrugged, "but I guess, being L and all, that you don't get stressed easily."

"Not true."

"Hm?" you sounded, perplexed.

"I am always stressed, "_", I just don't gray from it." You began to ponder if the man was joking, but you soon realized he wasn't. This man was not at all how you expected him to be. Although everyone had an idea of what L looked like, you had always wondered if he had given you all a false description to seem more relative to the mixed up children of Wammys. Describing himself as a child...but it was only now that you saw him did you realize he really must have been a child at the time, and still was at heart.

"Do you sometimes work with liars, Ryuzaki?"

"When I deem it necessary, yes."

"Then let me ask you this, is one of your Task Force members lying about being Kira?" He smiled in a cartoon fashion, obviously pleased that you had figured it out.

"Yes, because he deems it necessary in order to turn the other members against me."

You nodded in understanding, then asked him why he had made you stay behind. He explained that he was simply going to see how much you knew after the first day, and since you knew already that Kira was one of the members, that you were free to reside in your hotel room for the rest of the night. So you got up, said your goodbyes to the strange, yet intriguing, man and journeyed down the hall and into your room.

Once you had firmly shut the door behind you, and checked the room for any bugs or cameras, you spoke to the shinigami who had been hovering behind you all day, "Did you have a nice chat with Ryuk?"

"Oh yes," the weathered gray creature grinned, "And he believes that Light is in big trouble since he doesn't know about me."

"Light-kun is Kira then, I assume?"

He nodded then sprawled out on your bed, apparently having become tired of hovering, and began to cover himself with the soft fabric of the sheets. "How do you plan to capture him?" he asked from beneath.

You sat down at the only table in the room, hands folded in front of you, and mumbled, "I need time to think, plus," you added unfurling your hands, "I do not need to rush; Ryuzaki might start to question how I work...and we don't need him finding out about you."

"Maybe you should befriend Ryuk's human, then say that you support Kira and were forced to join this case because your connections with L made him threaten your career," Zellogi suggested as he began to stroke the feathers of his headdress with the sheets draped across his shoulders.

You turned your head towards the death god with a smirk, "That might be the best idea you've ever had."

His square teeth fully shone as he brightly smiled. "Then will you repay me by buying a silk scarf? You know how I like soft things," his voice rose an octave with the thought. You rolled your eyes and shook your head, unable to fight the amusement this request brought. You stood up, spread your arms, and bowed.

"Of course, my all knowing god~!" You were glad this was the shinigami who had come down to you; you were able to joke with him about simple matters like these - and could call him a friend. You were always amused to think that a creature such as him existed in front of you.

You then took notice of your diary spilling out of your bag, and picked it up. You then thought of something as your fingers glided across the spine. You would write down your days' details in this book, and would look through it if you ever needed to remember something. Oh, how you loved documenting.

***x~X~x***

You now stood in front of the Yagami household, several weeks after you had joined the case. You had made sure to be rather friendly with Light, even going on a few outings with him, and his father took notice to this. The older man had then invited you over for dinner that night; he insisted upon it even.

You knocked on the bulky, wooden door, fighting the sight the frosted glass illuminated out from inside the home. It was about seven o'clock, but it being spring caused the outside world to be a bit dark. The door opened to reveal the chief of the NPA who wore a bright smile, "Welcome, "_"-chan. Dinner isn't quite finished yet-"

"That's okay, Dad. She can wait in my room," Light's voice sounded from the top of the stairs. His father nodded, and you quietly bounded upstairs. You could hear a girl, Light's sister probably, whisper to the mother something about him dating two girls at once. You ignored her though; you weren't looking to have any relationship with the young man you were following. You just wanted to expose him as Kira. Before you had wanted to beat L, but now, since you've spent time with him, you wanted nothing more than to help in any way you could. He was not the person you thought him to be, and suffered too much on his own already.

Once in the college student's room, he closed the door behind him and took a seat at in his swiveling desk chair. Not finding anywhere else to sit for yourself, you just sat on the made bed. You began to wonder just how you could befriend him in a strategic manner, when he spoke. "How do you feel about the Kira case, "_"-san?" You blinked several times, dumbstruck and wondering if he had read your mind somehow.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, I have never heard your opinion on the matter. Just because you're on the Task Force doesn't necessarily mean you dislike Kira. For all I know, you could be in it for the pay, since Ryuzaki is your only employer."

"Is this some type of test? Did he put you up to this?" you asked worriedly, standing up now. An idea had come to your mind about how exactly you could trick this college student. His eyebrow raised.

"Of course not. Why, _would_ he do that? Are you under suspicion as well?"

"W-Well yes...but only as much as the average person..." you stammered. Your act was working.

You heard Zellogi begin to laugh up a storm, probably because of Ryuk you thought. Light suddenly stood up from his seat and began to stare at nothing. He turned back to you with affixed eyes. "You have a Death Note, don't deny it, and your shinigami has been talking with Ryuk, who is now raptured." The laughing ceased.

You glared at your shinigami who retracted from your harsh expression. "Well, since the cat's out of the bag," you sighed, "Yes, indeed I do." You searched through your purse and pulled out a blank piece of notebook paper. "I assume you would like to see Zellogi? I am most interested to see what Ryuk appears like; after all the stories I've heard about him." The brunette next glared at his shinigami, but held out an identical piece of paper out to you.

Then you saw him, you could now finally see the second death god. He wore dark clothes, lined with feathers to match, several pieces of jewelry, had the strangest smile you had ever seen, and his eyes were egg yolks with scarlet pupils. He was very much different from the creature that possessed you.

"How long have you known?"

You glanced at the young man and smiled charmingly. "Known what? That you're Kira? Or that you have a Death Note? Honestly I wouldn't have been able to find you out if it weren't for Zellogi. Unlike Ryuk, he actually enjoys helping me."

Light looked from you and then to the strange being. A shinigami that was compliant to a very intelligent human – it was almost perfect to him. Although he had never received your answer, he immediately assumed that you too were a fan of Kira – since you had made yourself known to him. "Then, would you like to help me shape this new world, "_"? I find you rather interesting to say the least, and would greatly appreciate you helping me to cleanse this reality of ours," he spoke confidently, truly believing that what he was doing was right; that it was indeed justice. You agreed to help him, lying through your teeth about your loyalty.

***x~X~x***

As you were driven back to the hotel, you thought out several different scenarios that could work in your favor now that Light believed that you were on his side. Once in your room you also instructed that if Light ever wanted you to kill criminals, that Zellogi would have to write their names in his own personal notebook. After all, you didn't want there to be any evidence being found for these said crimes. Though, luckily, Light didn't instruct you to do that quite yet; he just wanted you to lay low for now.

Once you entered your room, you twirled your finger, signaling that Zellogi would now have to check for cameras and bugs again. You had been acting out this precaution every time you came back after a few hours trip - so basically every other day.

You just rested on your bed, took off your shoes, and laid down on your back– acting as if the shinigami wasn't even in the room. Talking to thin air was considered suspicious, and even strange to some. His feathered head then appeared from the ceiling above, meaning the rest of his body was on another floor.

"I've got some bad news." You just blinked and continued to gaze up at the ceiling, knowing what he was about to say. "That Watari fellow has placed cameras and listening devices all over the suite. Not a single inch of this place is unnoticed."

You closed your eyes, keeping calm and tired looking on the outside, while furious on the inside. This meant L didn't trust you, at least, not anymore. This meant that he now suspects you of being a Kira - or just an accomplice even.

Though in all honesty, you couldn't see why he hadn't done this before hand. You had already been here for several weeks, and you matched up with everything L had expected of the Second Kira. Your fingers were the size of a small woman's, so you matched up with the fingerprints and you also had joined the Task Force just before the Second Kira announced they found the first. Which didn't look good for either you or Light since you had started hanging out at that time, but you did know the risks when you proceeded with your plan. Even still though, you didn't worry about it much, after all, it's not like they had any evidence on you specifically.

You looked over to your bedside table, where your diary was secured in a false bottom. You knew that wouldn't be long before they found it. You began to rethink writing in it, but decided that you should continue – so not as to seem all too innocent on camera. You walked over to the small table, retrieved the book, and sat down at the larger table.

Everything previously written contained nothing about your Death Note, but rather just about how your plans were going...and admittedly, how your feelings were as well. You had written in great detail how your dates with Light were going, and in every entry repeated that you hated every second of them. He was too sweet, too charming, and too perfect to be a real, sincere human being.

Another person you wrote about was Ryuzaki. His features and quirks had continued to enthrall you throughout your stay, and you often caught yourself longing for him from afar. Just something about the way his ruffled hair looked so soft, the way his delicate fingers picked things up with the greatest of care, and the way he was so different from everyone else – he just always seemed to be in another world. Maybe not through thought, since he was very grounded and dedicated to reality, but as far as his intelligence level hung over everyone's heads. You envied that about him, but greatly respected him for it as well.

You sighed as your pencil finished your last sentence of the daily entry. All of the emotional words that had clouded your mind were now expressed on several pages, using the most accurate words you could muster. You knew that L would probably read it afterward, but didn't really mind. You wouldn't be able to say those things to his face anyway – you were a rather shy girl when it came to romance. Plus, he surely wouldn't return the feelings. He was the world's top detective after all - and didn't have time to worry about his love life. Yet even so, this only caused you to like him more. He was so dedicated to his work, so focused on what his purpose in life was, that he didn't let anyone ever sway him from doing what he thought was right. Some might say he was just stubborn, but it was a very admirable trait in your opinion.

You quietly retired from the table, closed the diary, and stuffed it back into the false drawer. You grabbed a t-shirt and shorts out of the closet, and went to take a shower. You could hear Zellogi laughing at you from the other room. He knew you were modest about your body, since you always forced him to go to another room when you changed, and thought it was hilarious that you were now being watched taking a shower by your crush/boss. "_Damn him,"_ you hissed in your thoughts.

After your shower, you got into your night clothes and slipped into bed, with exhaustion painted over your face. Usually hotel sheets gave off a cold, stark feeling, and would take forever to warm up, but these sheets were quick to heat and plush to the touch. You smiled contently and snuggled into the pillows, welcoming sleep to vanish your bustling thoughts.

(No One's POV)

Meanwhile, L kept peering over several lit screens alone; the other Task Force members had left, and Watari had been asleep for the last two hours. The raven haired man watched as the young woman, named "_", disappeared under a plane of blankets. He wondered how someone who has seen so much pain and death, from being a detective herself, could just drift off to sleep like some child. It was a bit mind boggling to him, for he actually found himself jealous over this. Not because it was her specifically, but because someone could fall asleep at night, not worrying about the current state of the world. Though maybe that was only his, and a few government officials, burden to bare. Still though, he would give anything to be that relaxed and content – not giving a care to anything other than one's own pleasures. He had given up most pleasures at the age of eight, when Watari whisked him away to become what he was now. Those long, lonely nights of doing nothing but analyzing and studying cases, while the outside world was in a deep slumber under a blanket of gleaming stars…

He continued to stare at the monitor as her head popped back up from under the sea of sheets, and then just rested gingerly back on the cushioning pillows. She was still asleep. He began to study her closely, more than he had before, and watched as her small frame rose and fell with every even breathe. The curtains were just opened wide enough to illuminate her face without causing any harsh beams of light to leak through and disturb her; she looked beautiful and honestly peaceful. The curves of her jaw line were so sleek, and her hair carelessly splayed on the cream colored pillows while her limbs risked sliding off the edge of the queen sized bed. He wondered what she was dreaming about, and what other dreams she may have had before he met her. He believed her dreams to be ones that would bring a sweet smile to his face, and might lighten the voids in his eyes – even if only just a bit.

He had been catching her gawk at him frequently the last few weeks, though dismissing it as that she just found him odd, but he secretly hoped it meant more than a simple gaze. It was absurd to think such things, for she could never even be interested by a man such as himself. He dedicated himself solely to his work, and nothing more. No woman, no person, could ever be truly happy with someone like him. He knew that she would understand his kind of life, coming from Wammy House, but assumed that she wanted more than just logic in a relationship. She probably wanted emotion that couldn't be explained by mere textbooks. She most likely desired feelings based on impulses of the heart shown in large romantic displays – and that was something he was not capable of. His whole life was based on logic and reason, and he didn't think it could change anytime soon. Although a thought still lingered in the back of his mind, "_Maybe change would be for the better."_

He soon felt uneasy about installing the cameras in her room, but he still deemed it necessary. She had gone on several dates with Light Yagami when the Second Kira first arose, and it was too much of a coincidence to be overlooked. It would have explained why the two of them had "hit it off" during the first week she had joined, and why Light didn't seem to view her as much of a threat as L had perceived her to be for Light.

The man dropped his head and he began to twirl his fork on an empty dessert plate. He did not want to think about her and Light being together. He knew what was gnawing at his stomach now, what pained him, and it wasn't hunger this time – it was jealousy - and it was certainly an inconvenience that had to be taken care of.

(Your POV)

The next day you awoke and saw Zellogi sitting upside down - asleep in one of the chairs. You giggled to yourself as his tongue lazily lolled out like a dogs, but stopped when you recalled the cameras. You raised yourself up out of bed, changed clothes, then strolled out the door, not disturbing the sleeping shinigami.

You journeyed over to L's suite, the Task Force's base of operations at the moment, and allowed yourself in. The hotel you were now staying at was a mixture of pastel pinks and greens with argyle wallpaper decorating the room. It had a very elegant air about it, even with the unusual people it held.

Ryuzaki was crouching in an armchair, while stacking about fifteen sugar cubes on top of one another. You made very slow movements toward him, so he did not flinch and knock down the tower by accident. It seemed unlikely for him to do so, but it was just in case.

He greeted you as you took a seat on the couch beside him, and you returned the gesture. You honestly didn't know what to say to the man, since you usually walked in and he gave you orders right off the bat; an awkward silence hung in the air. He suddenly spoke, making you jerk in surprise, but the raven haired man continued anyway.

"You've been around Yagami-kun a lot lately, are you two in a relationship?" he asked, focusing on his tower and not revealing any emotion.

You got nervous for some reason, you always seemed to be this way around the insomniac, and waved your hands in front of you while shaking your head repeatedly with genuine anxiety. "O-Of course not! He's suspected of being Kira! I would never go out with someone who could be Kira!" He glanced over at you, then continued to build the sugar stack higher.

"You said could. As if it is only a possibility. So what if he wasn't Kira, would you be his girlfriend then?" A light blush dusted your cheeks, after all you were still female, but you shook your head again.

"No, he's not my type of guy." He went to put another cube on top, but caused the one below it to become unbalanced and made the entire tower topple over. He blinked as the white things scattered across the table and carpet. He blinked and then turned to you with a blank face.

"You have a type?"

"Of course I have a type," you spoke while crossing your arms, trying to gain your composure. A red tint remained on your cheeks however. "I'm still a girl after all."

He held a thumbnail to his lip, and mumbled, "Indeed you are." You looked at him curiously, wondering what he must be thinking about, when he suddenly stood on the couch and chair's armrests and leaned over to you. His face was maybe four inches from yours, causing you to blush to intensify. "So what is your type?" he asked innocently while tilting his head to the side with his thumb still in place.

You turned away while fumbling over your choice of words, "U-Um someone who is intelligent, has a sense of humor as a reflex, will give me space, can support himself - and I guess a bit childish...?" The man sat back down in his own chair, peering up at the textured ceiling in deep thought, and mumbled something to himself that you couldn't make out. He gazed back at you, finally removing his thumb from his lip, and asked if you wanted to go somewhere. You managed to get out an, "okay," and followed him out to his luxury car.

Once inside, you questioned where you were going. He didn't face you, but continued instead to look out the window. "I want to surprise Light-kun with a visit." You gave a confused expression, but decided that L knew what he was doing. You just sat back and waited for the car to come to a halt.

When the car finally did stop, you scanned the buildings in front of you. "A college?" you asked Ryuzaki, as Watari opened your door and soon drove off. The young man didn't say anything, but began to float through the school grounds. You followed behind him and shifted your gaze down at his footsteps. His usually bare feet were now clothed by some beat up tennis shoes; loose laces skidded against the pavement with every step he took. He rested on a bench, underneath a shady tree, and brought out a book. You sat beside him, gazing wonderingly at the students who passed by, and turned your head to notice that the detective wasn't even reading. His eyes were affixed on something, and you figured out what it was when he yelled to someone on your other side and waved.

"Yagami-kun!"

The light haired college student stopped in his tracks, silently, with a very composed scholarly woman beside him. Ryuzaki put his arm down, and resumed his frog expression. Light then ushered the woman away and asked if it was safe for the raven to be in public. Ryuzaki stated it should be fine as long as the students weren't indeed Kira, but then brought up another subject.

"If I'm killed during the next few days," you eyed the man speaking, with a shocked expression, but he continued, "I've told Yagami-san, the Task Force members, and the other L's to assume that 'Light Yagami is Kira'!" You wondered what he meant by "the other L's", but figured it was just a ploy. Governments around the world had always debated on if L was a single person or an entire organization - consisting of only the brightest minds. You deduced Ryuzaki posing as a single person, of the said group, could only benefit him for it would cause Light to second guess himself and his criminal actions.

The raven changed the subject to being in college and then to Takada, the girl Light had been with earlier. You doubted that he actually had feelings for another human being, truly, and decided he was just dating other girls to cover something up. What he was hiding was another matter though.

You had all just taken a few steps toward the suggested cafeteria, when a loud female voice sounded through the air from behind you, "Light, there you are!" A small blonde woman with Gothic Lolita style clothing now stood in your presence. You had an odd feeling about this girl, since she did not seem like the type of person Light could even stand.

Through the exchanged greetings, she could not take her eyes off of something above your head. You looked at her confusedly, asked her if anything was wrong, and she just waved her hands in front of her while saying she just spaced out for a second. You became very curious by her bird-in-flight-like movements and realized why she was being so cautious. Ryuzaki had previously stated that a small woman, who watched daytime television, and could kill with just a face was the Second Kira. She had The Eyes...Misa Amane was the Second Kira. She had been staring right where your life span was said to have been – but, to her, it wasn't there. "_Shit!"_ you thought. as you used all of your will not to flee and stand in place.

The rest of her company and been somewhat of a blur, for you could not think of anything besides your and Ryuzaki's name being seen. Light could kill L, blackmail you, and finally become the god he wanted to be.

Your trance was disturbed when L's personal phone rang. You couldn't hear him, but you figured Watari was on the other line. Ryuzaki then explained to both you and Light that Misa had just been apprehended on suspicion of being the Second Kira; this was due to evidence stuck to the adhesive of the envelopes she sent to Sakura TV. You mentally sighed in relief as you and the detective headed back to the hotel alone. You wondered what Light must have been thinking at that point, and couldn't help but giggle. L glanced your way at the sound of your amusement, then bit his thumb nail while silently continuing to stare through the car window.

***x~X~x***

Once in his suite, the naturally jet black haired man perched in a chair in front of his laptop. "Watari, has she said anything?" the man addressed into a microphone as an L appeared on the screen. You figured the old man was using the letter to convince Light that there really were more Ls.

"Sorry, but nothing yet. She hasn't even complained about being restrained." Before you could even ponder what Watari meant by "restrained", the man you stood by spoke again.

"All right, send the images this way."

"Are you sure?"

"Just do it," the insomniac ordered.

As soon as the security camera appeared on the screen, you understood the elder's concern. The scene you were now gawking at was Misa Amane, wearing nothing but rags and a visor, while being secured to a stretcher by several, buckled restraints. Honestly it looked like some pornography gone horribly wrong for the young, blonde woman. You thought, with no doubt, that surely some man would be aroused by a scene such as this being displayed to him.

The Task Force members, however, were not amused. Although they did agree that the physical evidence was all there for her to be accused, they thought that perhaps this was too much. Ryuzaki paid their opinions no mind, and continued to say that Light would probably be brought in as well.

An eerie silence was adrift in the room now, for no one could disagree with the detective. The others went back to work while you just stood there, continuing to gaze at the horror Misa was now living in. You had to think to yourself, "_That could have been me. If she hadn't left enough evidence behind, that could have been me trapped in those straps. L had suspected me, did he not? I can't imagine how I would feel then...not when it would be by his order."_

You returned to reality when the man of your thoughts suggested you return to your room, for he did not want you to watch if he had to use "certain ways" to get the girl in question to talk. You spied a few syringes from the corner of the screen, and moderately nodded.

Once in your room, however, you did not know what to do. Your mind felt numb at the thoughts of what just occurred, and what could have occurred. You decided it to be best to once again document your feelings, and walked over to the bedside table. You removed the hidden diary and began to write of the incident. You felt scared. Even though you had always known L to be one to get answers, no matter what he had to do, you did not expect to see him allow such a thing as Misa being restricted quite like that. You thought he might have been kinder to her, just keeping her in a cell till further notice possibly, but that was not the case.

You felt a few tears begin to drip from your eyes, and slowly run down the side of your cheeks. "W-what if he does something l-like that to me?" you whimpered. You tossed the journal aside, and curled yourself into a ball under the bedsheets. You felt so afraid of him finding your Death Note and arresting you. The images of him ordering Watari for you to be tortured to get information raced through your brain, only causing you to mewl even more. You stretched your sleeves over the fists of your hands and dug your palms into the sides of your face. Continuing to think mute worries in your mind, you ignored the worried words of the shinigami while wallowing in feelings of anguish.

Several minutes later, after you were sure the death god had left the room, your crying had subdued to mere sniffles and light sobs. The thoughts were still there, but your mind had begun to numb even more to the pain. You continued to lay there under the sheets - for they were the only things that would hug you. For years you had lived alone, refusing to have a partner or a romantic relationship to commit to, but you had always wished there was someone beside you anyway. It was hard to live alone, even if you kept saying you were fine, you wanted someone to be there for you, to need you, and to love you.

As you wrapped your arms around you, a few more tears escaped. No one had ever loved you. Your father dumped you at Wammy House the first chance he got, getting rid of his only inconvenience. Love was also not something known to those who resided at the orphanage, for you were meant to only fend for yourself and education. You were not meant to make friends, only to study and study hard. You had defied that place, and then they just kicked you out like you meant nothing. They through only a letter, S to be exact, for you to remember them by. You hugged your knees and curled your toes, trying to make yourself as small and insignificant as you felt. Maybe you would have to use your Death Note after all...just to end it…

Before you could finish your thoughts, you felt the covers thrown off of you and watched as they cascaded to the floor. You swung your head around and found yourself staring into onyx orbs. "R-Ryuzaki...?" you questioned through hiccups. He towered over your quivering figure, and just continued to stare into your eyes silently. "W-why are you here?" you whispered while lowering your head so that your hair covered your surely reddening eyes.

"I saw you crying, and I did not want you to be alone."

You remained silent and refused to make eye contact with the man, as you continued to hug your knees. The detective said nothing, but his hands began to fidget in his pockets from the awkward silence. His next action however, caused you to give a slight gasp. He had climbed onto the bed with you and was now lying down beside you. You stared up at him; he still had a blank face, but you could detect worry in his dark eyes.

"I'm not leaving until you stop crying," he stated as he draped the blankets over the both of you. You blinked several times as you realized that he cared about you, despite any suspicion that he may have had about you.

"R-Ryuzaki-"

He gently pressed a finger to your lips and said, "You don't need to say anything, I know." His eyes wandered to the floor where the diary had been thrown, and another tear glided down your face and onto the sheets. He didn't really know everything, but since he had obviously read your diary he knew what you felt for him. And since he was there to comfort you anyway, you assumed that he must have accepted your feelings.

You scooted closer to him and pressed your face against his covered chest, listening to his steady, sure heartbeat. You stiffened a bit when his arm placed itself over your figure, but relaxed soon after. This was the calmest you had felt in...well, you didn't know how long - all you knew was that you felt safe. His warmth bathed over you, stirring even more loving emotions, and lulled you into a deep, needed sleep. The last thing you remember was him whispering into your ear, "I'm here "_", you are not alone."


End file.
